I would be fine with a .500 record for April because this team will be able to peel off a lot of wins once the hitting turns around.  Also, the sooner Cashman can unload Farnsworth so that someone with some upside (any upside will do) can take his place, the better.  I’m absolutely certain Britton or Scott Patterson are better options right now.  Also, I wonder whether the light hitting Giants might like to make a deal for Wilson Betemit.

The Yankees still have not hit a 3 run homer this season.

What would you want off the Giants’ roster, IE?  Another Molina, maybe?  I doubt the light-hitting Giants would trade their best hitter.

At this point, I’m afraid that the only way to unload Farnsworth is to bring back Cliff Johnson to knock him onto the 60-day DL.

This is Brian Sabean we’re talking about.  For all we know, he might give us Cain or Lincecum for Betemit.  Hell, we’ll even throw in Farnswhacker.  Make that deal, Cash!

Given last April that managed a smooth 9-14 record, coming out of the month at .500 would be dandy. Very dandy, given they’ve only been over .500 once in the last three Aprils.

It’s especially nice to see Rivera pitching as well as he has.

I like that Girardi stuck with Bruney…not that he had that many options anyway, but it showed a steady hand.  Plus, despite his early struggles, pinch hitting Cano at a late-inning high-leverage situation over the normally light-hitting Gonzales was a good move (not just because of the obvious outcome).

Pitchers are going to suck sometimes, so okay, Traber and Bruney ran into it.  That said, the guys they gave up the big hits to have legit talent as evidenced by Crawford going down and getting a pitch from Traber that was anything but a mistake.

I still feel really good about this team.  Like everyone else, I’d feel a hell of a lot better if they swapped out Farnsworth for Britton or Patterson.  Hell, if they could just unload the Roidy Professor to someone who’d pay his salary to fuck up their late innings instead of ours, I’d be thrilled.

No way Sabean gives us a stud like Lincecum or Cain for a bench player. We are not getting much for a player that strikes out almost every time.

You need to “krank” up your sarcasm detector, dude.

unload the Roidy Professor

That’s it—spike his gatorade so he’ll test positive and get suspended.

Indeed.  Or why can’t Farnsworth come down with some sort of mysterious “injury?”  He’d look marvelous on the 60 day DL.

Like pink eye?

I was very happy with Kennedy I thought he was composed and mixed up his approach very well.Additionaly it seemed his velocity was up around 90-91 so I am encouraged especially with Hughes faltering.

No way Sabean gives us a stud like Lincecum or Cain for a bench player. We are not getting much for a player that strikes out almost every time.

You need to “krank” up your sarcasm detector, dude.

Yeah, it wasn’t really that subtle, either.

Better yet, hold out for Cain AND Lincecum.

I wonder what percentage of baseball players wear contacts.

Anyone see “Knocked Up”?  And think of that when they heard Betemit has (supposedly) pinkeye?

“Hey Gonzalez!  Rook!  Go fart on Betemit’s pillow.  It’s for the good of the team.”

I wish I could find Hughes’ blog entertaining.

Me too.

Wombat—

I checked it out earlier in spring training, it was better then.  Longer and more interesting entries.  Maybe he needs to find a rhythm now that the season has started.  I know other pitchers (cough, Schilling) find the time to write more better entries.

It seems he’s determined not to write about baseball.
Perhaps so as not to seem a Schill.

BTW, I won’t be available to liveblog tonight, either, I’m afraid. But I should be able to do the latter portions of Wednesday’s. Sadly, Thursday to Sunday are taken up with real life, as the New York Comic-Con is in town, and I’m pretty much being taken up with that all weekend.

However, I choose to take last night as a good sign, and have faith in the Yanks sweeping the Rays and at least splitting with the Sawx before getting the chance to dethrone the O’s this weekend.

——as the New York Comic-Con is in town, and I’m pretty much being taken up with that all weekend.——

[pauses for dramatic effect] [shakes shoulders and head in preparation] [clears throat…]

NEEEEERRRRDD!

“Comic-Con” = “taken up with real life”
(no comment required)

All you haters.

What? Don’t tell me you never get the urge to dress in strange costumes and go traipsing around a convention center discussing the latest in anime and gaming?

Oh.

Hey—I’m a professional nerd, dadgummit! In fact, one of the things that will be happening this weekend is that a comic book I’m doing will be officially announced at the con. And I’m doing an autographing and two panels.

So, y’know, nyah.

(Plus, honestly, the behavior of sports fans is not qualitatively different from that of SF/fantasy/comics/anime fans. Down to the dressing up part, and if you don’t believe me, count the number of Yankee jerseys and T-shirts at the Stadium next time you go….)

But its OK to like sports because its all manly and such, and sexy for women. Comics are just weird. We’ve all seen movies and ads. We know how the world works Keith, don’t try to fool us with your words.

Cool that it’s your own work, though.
Words, art, or both?

Clay: feel free to cling to your quaint 20th-century view of the world. Now it’s the jocks who are sucking up to the geeks because the geeks are all in tech support…...

WP: oh, just words. I draw a mean stick-figure, but that’s about it. After years of trying to do more comics work (I did a four-issue miniseries in 1999, but that’s it), the dam finally broke this year. Besides the thing that’s being announced this weekend, I’m likely doing a Tales from the Crypt story and at least one comic (and likely more) for IDW’s new line of Star Trek funnybooks.

Oh and hey, my CSI: NY novel should be appearing in bookstores in a week or two. They make dandy gifts. >nods<

Drawing is really hard. I’ve been trying to do some storyboarding for my film and failing miserably.

Wait, so I should keep my job as a tech support guy? Those skills might come in handy and be more useful than my ability to run kind of fast. Damn it! My world has been turned on its head.

Your ability to run kind of fast may also come in handy, albeit in non-career related situations.

Also I love comics, well, more correctly graphic novels. They are basically film on paper, except the artist has to choose specific frames to render, which is almost certainly far more difficult than just filming everything. I’d love to work on one in the future, as a writer of course as even my stick figures suck.

the behavior of sports fans is not qualitatively different from that of SF/fantasy/comics/anime fans

Not qualitatively different, but certainly quantitatively.

THE BIG BOROWSKI (memorable quotes)

THE MANAGER (ERIC WEDGE):  Way out midwest there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Joe Borowski. At least that was the handle his loving teammates gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. This Borowski, he called himself The Closer. Now, “Closer”, there’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then, there was a lot about the Closer that didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so durned interestin’. They call Cleveland the “Metropolis of the Western Reserve,” but I didn’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow it as there are some nice folks there. ‘Course, I can’t say I seen Toronto, and I never been to Tampa. And I ain’t never seen no Bud Selig in his damned undies, as a fella says. But I’ll tell you what… after seein’ Cleveland, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d see in any of them other places. And on Gameday, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good lord gypped me. Now this here story I’m about to unfold took place back on Monday night - just about the time of our conflict with Theo Epstein and the Red Sox. I only mention it because sometimes there’s a man… I won’t say a hero, ‘cause what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man – and I’m talkin’ about the Closer here – sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Closer. In the 9th inning. And even if he can’t pitch – and the Closer most certainly could not. Quite possibly the worst in the AL Central, which would place him high in the runnin’ for worst pitcher worldwide – Sometimes there’s a man… Sometimes, there’s a man. Ah, I lost my train of thought here. But… aw, hell. I done introduced him enough.

BOROWSKI ON BLOWING A SAVE: “Everything’s a fucking travesty with you, man!”

BOROWSKI ON THE OPPOSITION: Shit, I know that guy. He’s a nihilist. Kevin Youkilis.

BOROWSKI ON THE NOTION HE SHOULDN’T CLOSE:  Yeah, well, you know that’s just, like uh ...your opinion, man.

BOROWSKI ON HIS BULLPEN MATES: Fuck sympathy. I don’t need your fuckin sympathy. I need my fucking Jensen!

BOROWSKI ON LAST NIGHT’S APPEARANCE: Hey! Careful, man, there’s a leverage here!

WHAT BOROWSKI SHARES WITH PAUL BYRD: Fortunately, I’m adhering to a very strict drug regimen to keep my mind limber.

WALTER SABATHIA: Fuck it, Closer. Let’s go bowling.

WALTER SABATHIA ON C.M. WANG: What the fuck are you talking about? The Chinaman is not the issue here, Closer. I’m talking about throwing a changeup in the sand. Against this changeup, you DO NOT… Also, Closer, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

DON’T INTERRUPT WALTER SABATHIA: Shut the fuck up Grady!  Grady, you’re out of your element!

WALTER SABATHIA TO MARK SHAPIRO: Life does not start and stop at your convenience you miserable piece of shit.

IF WALTER SABATHIA ON WHY JOBA SHOULD START: If you put me in the 8th, you are entering a world of pain.  A world… of pain.

WALTER SABATHIA ON WILD PITCHES:  Do you see what happens, Victor, WHEN YOU LET A CHANGEUP FUCKING PAST? (proceeds to smash up what he believes is Victor’s bat) THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, VICTOR! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET A CHANGEUP FUCKING PAST!

WALTER SABATHIA ON DUSTIN PEDROIA: Also Closer, let’s not forget, let’s not forget that keeping wildlife, um… an amphibious rodent, for… um, you know domestic… within the city… that ain’t legal either.

WALTER SABATHIA ON THE M.L.B. FOREIGN AMATEUR DRAFT LOOPHOLE: Eight year olds, dude.

WALTER SABATHIA ON BOROWSKI’S COMMAND: That slider really tied the bullpen together, did it not?  That’s right, Closer, they teed off on your fucking slider.

WALTER SABATHIA ON SEMANTICS: Of course they were Red Sox, Grady; they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?  These are Red Sox, Grady. Don’t worry they’re cowards.

WALTER SABATHIA ON BRUSHBACKS: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me.

WALTER SABATHIA ON SEPTEMBER CALLUPS:  I’m stayin’!...(picking up mug) I’m finishing my coffee… (takes sip, sets mug down, gently slams fists on counter; grimly)...Enjoying my coffee….

WALTER SABATHIA ON THE RED SOX NATION: Say what you like about the tenets of New York Yankeedom, Closer, at least it’s an ethos.

WALTER SABATHIA ON THE DETROIT TIGERS: Those fuckin’ amateurs!

THE MANAGER ON ELLSBURY COMING IN TO PINCH RUN FOR ORTIZ: Darkness warshed over the Closer - darker’n a black steer’s tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.

JESUS (MANNY): Are you ready to be fucked, man?

JESUS (MANNY): Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull some shit like that with us? You pull your fastball out in a 2-2 count. I’ll take it away from you, shove it up your ass and pull the trigger ‘til it go click.  Nobody fucks with the Manny.

BUNNY (PAPELBON): I’ll dance a jig for $1000.

BOROWSKI ON 2007 ALCS GAME 7: Nothing is FUCKED?! The god-damn plane has crashed INTO THE MOUNTAIN!

BOB WATSON ON FRANCONA’S JACKET: I don’t like your jerkoff name, I don’t like your jerkoff face, I don’t like your jerkoff behavior, and I don’t like you. Jerkoff.

YOUKILIS: We are Nihilists, Borowski. We believe in nothing. Yeah, nothing.

THE MANAGER ON BOROWSKI’S RESILIENCE: ‘The Closer abides’. Dunno about you, but I take comfort in those words. It’s good knowin’ he’s out there. The Closer. Takin’ ‘er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the series.  Say, friend - you got any more of them good sabremetrics?

fucking brilliant.

Wow, just wow.  How long was that in the works?

More importantly, how many times did you watch the Big Lebowski last night/this morning to finish that for today?

I was lazy and only used the ones on Wikiquotes.  You should add some more, Clay.  Here’s the last for me.

BOROWSKI: I threw the slider exactly as per… look, man, I’ve got certain pitches, all right? Certain things I can throw. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I… this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it’s not just, it might not be just such a simple… uh, you know?

SHAPIRO: What in God’s holy name are you blathering about?

BOROWSKI: I’ll tell you what I’m blathering about… I’ve got pitches man! That’s the shit that I can throw! And shit… man, the ball hit itself out. Well sure, man. Look at it… a young Rawlings baseball, in the parlance of our times, you know, and it, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known bloggers, and that’s cool… that’s, that’s cool, I’m, I’m saying, it needs money, man. And of course they’re going to say that they didn’t watch it, because… they were watching the Yankees, man! They got to feed the monkey, I mean uh… hasn’t that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?

“More importantly, how many times did you watch the Big Lebowski last night/this morning to finish that for today?”

You know there’s this thing called the Enter-net.

Yeah, I guess I’m thinking of what I would have done. Which would have been to watch it at least once, probably 2-3 times. And as funny as The Big Lebowski is I wouldn’t have expected there to be that many quotes up.

Well, since you brought it up, the Indians have put Borowski on the DL.  Sounds like a reasonable face-saving way of elevating Betancourt to the closer role.

Which of course recalls this exchange.

SHAPIRO: Are you employed, sir?
BOROWSKI: Employed?
SHAPIRO: You don’t go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday?
BOROWSKI: Is this a… what day is this?
SHAPIRO: Well, I do work sir, so if you don’t mind…
BOROWSKI: I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.

I stand (or sit, as it were) in awe.

Does the fact that I’m reading a PDF upside down because I don’t want to walk to the computer lab to print it out make me monumentally lazy?

No, your unwillingness to use Acrobat to rotate the document makes you lazy.  But I’ve done that before too.  Are you holding your laptop upside down, or your neck?

is can’t o the same medical malady known as whiskey dick?

No laptop, and I was reading it through a browser so I couldn’t rotate it. I was just concentrating really hard, fortunately it was only one page.

I build my own computers so I can have really powerful computers for cheap, and laptops are really expensive for their performance.

I build my own computers so I can have really cheap computers for cheap.  You don’t need a particularly powerful machine to waste time on the intrawebs.

You build your own computers?  Quite the Little Borowski urban achiever you are.

No seriously that is impressive.  Please do build a computer that allows us to travel back in time and kidnap the 2001 Mike Mussina.

True, but I like to play video games, and do a good deal of photo editing on my computer. I also may be converting it to a workstation for editing film as well after I graduate, so I kind of do need all that power.

But eventually I’ll buy a cheap laptop for mobility.

How much computer power does one need for porn anyway?

Wow, that was…inspired.

Bravo.

Probably funnier if you’ve seen the flick.

I’m sure I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, Clay, but what you really need for video editing are hard drives with the fastest possible sustained data transfer rates.  Video editing software isn’t really that much of a resource hog.  It’s mostly just reading and writing, after all.  So spend your money on the best SATA array you can get, instead of on a marginally faster processor.

How much computer power does one need for porn anyway?

You making it, or just watching?

MC, I build them, too.
And before you ask - no, I don’t need that much power.
But I like it!

Genius ABD

“Probably funnier if you’ve seen the flick.”

Funnier if you liked the flick.

ABD, you should xpost the above on http://bronxbanter.baseballtoaster.com/ - Alex is a Coens guy.

I know there’s a new thread, but, just, wow.  I just watched the gool ol’ Big Lebowski the other night.  Must be the 15th time or so.  I’m afraid you may have just a wee bit too much time on your hands, ABD, but I’m grateful that we get to enjoy its fruits.

If you’re an urban achiever, and haven’t seen Miller’s Crossing, it’s high time (and I do mean high) that you get it somehow and watch it a few times.  It’s just amazing.

One of the tv censored versions of The Big Lebowski dubs over Walter beating the crap out of the corvette with “This is what happens when you MEET a stranger in THE ALPS!!!”  Brilliant.

Sorry I couldn’t spend more time on this to do justice to your quotes ABD, but you can use this as your poster:

http://www.mokers.org/blog/archives/sports/the-big-borowski.php

ABD, that was truly magnificent.

In retrospect I’m disappointed I forgot to change “Dude” to “Closer.”

Well done, ABD.